PLEASE EMAIL ME
Tuesday, July 29
Guild that shall remain nameless...So Brandon and I left another Warcraft guild. It's hilarious. Little men running their imaginary worlds, and minions who follow them and bow to their every command. I don't have time for that shit. Little boys, little boys.
I actually reactivated my cancelled account JUST to leave the guild. I paid money to leave, that's how much I wanted to leave. Sooooo funny.
Lynnette 3:46 PM
Saturday, July 26
This just went through my head today...then I saw this from Natalie Dee:
Lynnette 10:17 PM
Monday, July 21
Someone make my life easier...I am going forward and moving nowhere. At least it really seems that way most days. School is never-ending, there are no breaks, and there are no vacations unless the entire nation has deemed it so. Homework doesn’t pile up because I’m always on top of that shit, but there’s always more, every day, every weekend. I’ve crunched the numbers into fucking oblivion and sadly come up with the same answer: you are broke, you will always be broke and you will never pay off your student loans for the remainder of your entire life. You will never be ahead; you will never come out on top.
A friend at school landed a job at the emergency animal clinic here in Omaha. One that I was offered back in March, and had to turn down because of the schedule conflict (overnight every day AND go to school?!?!). I am sincerely happy for her, I’m glad she landed the job. I’m bummed that they never informed me there was a weekend opening, which is how it was left on the table last we spoke. Oh well. Second, again. There are no prizes for second place. Ever.
School is so hard. It’s so hard. I have excellent grades but I’m exhausted. I can hardly function. I have zero social life. Extracurricular activities?? Ya right. So how do they propose that I build up my experience WHILE I’m in school in order to land the zoo internship? How? I work like 34 hours a week, and go to school 30 hours a week. After these 64+ hours I am required to do my homework, correctly, and study. Extra time has to be pulled from somewhere to balance everything, and unfortunately it’s coming out of my bank of time normally allotted for sleep. The bags under my eyes are huge, and even my stepdad noticed them this weekend. Malnutrition? Probably. Sleep deprivation? Most definitely.
I need a break, but I can’t. I can’t take a break from school and get behind… it’s just not feasible. I hate feeling like I’m not getting anywhere….fast.
Lynnette 2:56 PM
Tuesday, July 15
Watching Youtube with Brandon...videos of guys from Bloodhound Gang and Jackass, Bam Margera and crew...
Normal people, in my estimation, hounded by the media, dickhead paparazzi.
I am so glad I'm not famous.
Lynnette 4:41 PM
Sunday, July 6
Love. As I see it.So my best female friend is sort of dating some guy. Sometimes she seems into him, other times she's very lukewarm about the whole deal. Pictures she sends me though show a smiling girl. She looks happy. Isn't that what's important?
It made me think about the romantic (and not so romantic) choices I've made throughout the years. (Fuck, I'm old) The ones I am no longer linked with romantically, are all for very specific reasons. None of my past relationships have endings which I would call "mysterious". I understand them all, completely.
So what makes my current relationship work? I think it's because I've been through a lot of situations that were not the best for myself, and made a lot of bad and/or wrong decisions, to get to where I am now: simplify the situation, be happy.
I think the big secret is to find someone who you like having as a friend, this person also likes having you as a friend. Additionally, you should be sexually attracted to this person and them to you. After that it’s easy. You find someone you want to be good to, altruistically, and by secondary effect they are good to you, too. The issue is not being good to the person to, say, get them to like you more, or keep them around, or compete for their affections with another person. You are good to the person simply because, you want ultimately to treat them well. You feel that they deserve to be treated well.
I love Brandon. He’s a wonderful person; he’s my best friend; he treats me well; he accepts and returns my affections. I look forward to seeing him every day. Just the thought of seeing him soon makes me smile.
Lynnette 4:20 PM
Wednesday, July 2
So I’m trying to quit smoking. Again.
Yesterday morning on the way to school I was smoking one of my stolen cigarettes. You see, before leaving the house I sneak two cigarettes from Brandon’s pack. Sorry babe...now you know (plus I tell you have the time, anyway). But I digress…
In the middle of my first stolen cigarette I suddenly became nauseous…almost to the point where I felt as if I was going to vomit. The cigarette went directly out the window…that was 745am.
However, as relapse is a part of the recovery process, it isn’t that surprising that I had a few cigarettes that evening, after 10pm with Brandon.
Today, however, I have only had one cigarette. One. I just have to remember to keep telling myself no and replacing it with another vice, such as gum. Unfortunately, that’s the only way to change a habit… habits don’t disappear they are just modified.
Lynnette 3:17 PM
Tuesday, July 1
Mechanical Pencils were purchasedToday I bought a pack of 2 Bic “Velocity” pencils.. 0.7mm, of course. One blue and one green. For the same price (per pencil) I could have bought a package of 3 black ones, “Atlantic” as opposed to “Velocity” model. However, I find that when I have multiple writing tools they all tend to develop their own associations and personalities, so having 2 different colors helps me distinguish between the two. For example:
“Green is for my Pathology and Nutrition classes and has no mechanical issues. Blue is for Pharmacology and Animal Nursing.. and it does that quirky thing if you hold it at a 45 degree angle so don't put a ton of lead in it or it'll stop working.”
Thusly.. I went with the multi-colored 2 pack.
Lynnette 12:42 PM